My Eyebrows Yelled At Her

Right in the midst of things rolling off the rails this morning--I think it was after I yelled at Josie for yelling, but before I found out the kids had locked the keys in the car again--I thought to myself I haven't written one of my Sunday posts in a really long time.

And it is not for lack of material, I assure you. I have complained about this before, but attending Sunday morning church on time is a nearly impossible feat. Forget the fact that it is the only time all week when all of us are expected to be ready to walk out the door at the same moment, with a high degree of grooming and standard of dress. Forget the fact that we must locate items of clothing some of us haven't seen since flinging them down the basement stairs last Sunday after church--uncomfortable and unmissed items such dress shirts, ties and shoes (which haven't fit for months and MOM! Why can't you remember I need church shoes?). No. I submit that the real problem we have is that we must do all of the above in a holy spirit of love. Ours must be a rather dysfunctional love, if I am being honest.

Children at the breakfast table not wanting to eat a bagel in under 25 minutes? Check!
Children arguing about having to wash/brush their bodies/hair every Sunday morning? Check!
Children temporarily rendered lame and blind when asked to find a decent pair of dress socks? Check!
Mom using her quiet shouty voice (her scariest!) to motivate intractable children? Check!

And just when I thought we were out the door--too late for being early but too early to be embarrassingly late--it was brought to my attention that the car was locked, tragically with the keys inside. I call Pie (at church early to attend a meeting) at 8:58 and say I need him to drive back with my spare. Eight minutes later a fellow ward member (thanks Nathan!) pulls into the driveway with Pie's keys--as it turned out Pie was on the program to give the opening prayer--and so we rushed off to church. I think I was dealt the final blow when I was searching around for my gum in the front console and realized all my gum was gone. Stolen. By little people who won't hurry in the tub and sass back and inadvertently lock the car doors and just wait for you to notice. Oy.

So today was not my best day. And really, it wasn't the fault of my little trolls (although they know what they did). Pie has a phrase we all really resent and it is "You make your own weather". Talk about your inconvenient truths....After I yelled at the kids in the car I found myself sitting in church, pleading for His patience.

(Josie once told me she didn't like it when I was angry because my eyebrows yelled at her. It's a Pedersen thing.)