Conversations

(My mom calls the house, Tommy picks up)
Tommy: Hello.
Nana (knowing it's one of the kids but not which one): Hi. This is Nana. Who are you?
Tommy: Nana! Dis is Tommy Konchaw! Don't you remember me?

(Looking with a critical eye at the glass-enclosed gas fireplace)
Santa is gonna have to break the fireplace to get in here.

(While sitting on the kitchen floor together, enjoying the sunshine)
Tommy (looking closely into my eyes): Mom, how come your eyes have cracks on them?
Me: Oh, my eyes don't have cracks, those red lines are just because I'm tired.
Tommy, thinking a minute: No. Not those cracks. These cracks, all around your eyes. (gently tracing the crows feet/bags around my eyes.)

Tommy: Mom, if you don't let me take a bath I'm gonna call da cops!
Me: But you had a shower an hour ago. And anyway, just who are "the cops"?
Tommy: You know, those guys with the fire truck lights on the top of their cars.

Aunt Kirsten: Tommy, what is your whole name?
Tommy: You mean my middle name? My middle name is (quietly thinking)....Joseph Smith.

Tommy: Mom, if you don't let me eat the cookies, I am going to call monkeys....(pause for dramatic effect)....stupid.