It is a rather frantic Sunday morning (is there another kind?) and I am in the shower. I turn off the water and just as I do, I hear someone screaming outside of the bathroom door. By the sound of things, I can tell this will require my immediate attention so I throw on a towel and open the door to find Josie. Her face is oddly devoid of color and she is screaming a scream that is several decibels above her normal scream (her normal scream being a pitch I am quite familiar with, naturally). I look down and the skin of her right heel, from the base of her heel up to where her ankle connects with her leg, has been flayed back. I note that blood is pooling on the carpet. (At this point I start to make high pitched sounds.) Her wound is about 2 inches long and it is deep. I shoo her into the bathroom (which is tiled) where her ankle bleeds, and bleeds, and BLEEDS. She is upset. I am upset. We somehow manage to wrap the thing up in a way that stops the bleeding and prevents her from wearing a shoe. We go to Church.
Later in the day when I have more time for an in-depth line of
questioning, I ask her what happened. "I got hurt in the lobby." Note: for mysterious reasons known only to the mind of Jos, she has always referred to the Butler's pantry as "the lobby" . She walks into the pantry and says "Well, you were in the shower so I was in here practicing my karate moves (apparently she finds my shower a convenient time to work on her skills). I was kicking the heck out of this wall here, like this." She then proceeds to kick the heck out of the wall. I tell her to stop. "So as I'm kicking, my foot goes back like this and hits the back of the bottom of the cabinet." Ouchie.
That darn heel took a good month to heal. Now she practices her karate in a more open area. At least, that is what I am assuming. Who knows what goes on when I'm up in that shower.
5 comments:
i had forgotten the "kicking the heck out of this wall here" part. thats my favorite.
I'm sorry for the injury, but how hilarious is that explanation! I'm impressed you made it to church...brownie points there for sure.
Young Grasshopper needs her own arena to practice those tricky heck-kicking moves! I'm just glad that she doesn't like to "kick and kill things"- ha ha. Better to just kick, right? :) That girl! I think if Bailey and Josie ever get together, it will be the end of the world as we know it. On that note, YES, let's totally go Mommy-Kid camping! And, unlike my own mom, we will remember the can opener!!!
Okay...have you seen Freaky Friday (the new one)? When Jamie Lee Curtis and Lindsay Lohan have changed places and are in the car and Lindsey Lohan starts downing the McDonald's fries because she (as the mother) hasn't had a fry in like seven years? I can remember watching that and thinking it was plain ridiculous...who could go seven years without McDonald's french fries? And now, my padawan, I realize (and it is horrifying) that despite the fact that a professional trainer worked me out for an hour to the point of extreme nausea...the dinner at Pei Wei ruined each and every one of those 60 horror-filled minutes. And I can pretend that I don't care, but then I went to the Ann Taylor Loft and tried on some clothes and they looked bad even when I squinted my eyes and tilted my head. IT JUST AIN'T FAIR. I HATE 37 YEAR OLD BODIES WITH ALL OF MY HEART.
Just sayin'.
Wow, Sarah, you sounded just like my 8-yr-old daughter. She ends all of her comments with "Just sayin'."
Anyway, Julie, your blood-gushing post utilizing the words "shower" and "leg" and "skin" and "flayed" reminded me of my first shaving experience. I won't tell the story because it still makes me cringe. Poor little Josie! But I'm sure her indomitable spirit will ensure that she learns absolutely nothing from this experience. It is left to Mommy to use the powers of positive thinking by convincing herself that this is hopefully a good thing. Good luck with that.
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