Spring is coming, folks, and in case you haven't already put two and two together, spring weather means sandals and sandals means people will see your feet and are your feet ready to be seen? Mine weren't, which is why yesterday I dragged out my PediEgg (with handle!) and my heel balm (with 25% chemically synthesized urea!) and went to town on my dogs. I'm assuming you are familiar with the PediEgg because you all have television (sorry Nik). But you're probably wondering about the synthesized urea, right? Well, let me tell you. According to the foot poster at the Walgreens, it is the silver bullet of cracked, callousy heels, especially for the diabetic elderly. I think we can all agree that elderly feet--diabetic or otherwise--need the most help. And after a winter of complete and utter disregard, mine aren't far behind.
Okay, so urea. That's pee. The really expensive heel balms contain actual bovine urine. Having spent the better part of the last 14 years of motherhood handling actual human urine, I opted for the cheaper synthetic stuff. I mean, this is lotion, to be applied to the feet using one's hands after all. Thankfully it doesn't smell like urine, but rather it strongly hints of wax and old people. (If ever you find yourself "not in the mood", just whip out your heel grater and heel balm and you have the recipe for an entire evening to yourself.)
And my feet? They are looking better already. Not to mention the fact that they smell so mature and full of life experience!
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I was just lamenting this morning that I forgot to get Quin to cut my toenails this morning before he left for work. Sadly, not a task that is easily done at this point.
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