How To Embarrass Yourself And Others

(do you like this picture? I got it from some website showing a few possible signs of stroke. This line drawing is meant to represent confusion. But I think it looks like someone poking a finger in their eye. I find this picture confusing, which I guess is the whole idea I am going for.)

Yesterday was hectic and busy and I'm going to be frank, I wasn't quite on my game. Around the time of dismissal for the elementary a huge thunderstorm blew in. When this happens the school holds the children until the storm passes or until the parents come. I arrived right in the thick of hyper children and frazzled teachers. And then things took an embarrassing turn for the worse.

I spot Calvin's teacher, Mrs. K down the hall. I approach her with a big smile on my face (Mrs. K is one of my favorite teachers) and "I'm sorry" on my lips because little Calvin has missed 3 days of school this week from a nasty cold. I proceed to tell her lots of amusing little details all about Calvin's illness and our trip on Tuesday to the doctor and such. While she is politely listening to me she is also trying to corral her rather large brood of completely crazed students. Not one to be deterred, I just speak louder and faster. It is not until I begin to mention Calvin's missed test and ask her when Calvin can make it up that Mrs. K's face begins to look funny. She is staring at me and her smile seems a little off. And then she casually asks, "So how is Calvin liking Mrs. B?" Because, you see, Mrs. K hasn't been Cal's teacher since the end of May, when Calvin finished 4th grade.

And there I stood, looking at Mrs. K and some random teaching assistant who had also been listening to my whole senility-infused story. Even if I was good at smoothing over awkward moments like these (which I am not), I really don't know what I could have said to restore my dignity. So instead I continued to blather on about "Yes! Calvin does really like Mrs. B" until there was an announcement on the PA about the weather. I took that opportunity to allow my voice to trail off while I sidled away from Mrs. K and turned down the hall to find Josie and Jon.

And then I drove Josie all the way to gymnastics only to remember when we arrived (at an empty parking lot) that I had had a whole conversation last week with the gym receptionist about the fact that the gym would be closed this week. The end.