On our way home from the restaurant, Sid called.
Uh, hi mom.
Uh....when are you coming home?
Uh, so I don't know how it happened, uh, but some time tonight Tommy took a bowl of ice cream up to his room and to his bed and he spilled ice cream in his bed and uh, on the floor, on uh, the carpet. I cleaned it all up, but, uh, you can still see the ice cream.....So. Am I still going to get paid?
The ice cream I provided for the children.
A fun memory from the evening in the utensil drawer the next morning.
Later on Saturday, Sid surprised Jon in his room. Jon found the surprise so, well, surprising, that the only thing he could do was take the cord from the window blinds and fling it up into the ceiling fan while it was on. Then the two of them watched as the cord wound around and around the blades until the fan stopped moving and started making a curious groaning sound.
In the same room there is a window screen. When we moved in two months ago, Tommy found three screws lying around and poked them through the screen to make a face. Later, he stuck his fingers through the tiny holes. Then a piece of Lego. As time has passed, he has become more brazen with the items he sends out onto the roof. Lots and lots of Lego and Little People and even (gasp!) Star Wars action figures. Beatings and beratings don't help, goodness knows I've tried both. The hole is now big enough to accommodate Tommy's cute round head, but the worst part is: it looks so white trash from the street.
See? That red thing is a Little People fireman, wearing the Emperor's cape.
Sid was right, you can still see the ice cream next to the bunk bed. And if you look really closely, you can see lots of little tan dots from Jon's run in with blood spurting from his head.
Not to be left out of the fun, on Sunday morning Josie managed to spill a cup of water onto Pie's laptop in the the kitchen. It too started making funny noises after it stopped working.
8 comments:
Girl. You make me laugh. Also, I feel like some commiseration is in order. I got home from Utah yesterday. The microwave doesn't work. The suburban keeps blinking 'check tire pressure,' (which I promptly ignore). I'm going to pay the piano teacher a bazillion dollars today even though none of my brood has touched a piano key in well over a month. Oh yeah, and I ordered a $50 tray for the microwave when it cracked...and now the whole thing doesn't work. There are other things...but I'm blocking them out right now (like my syllabus that needs to be submitted in a few days). Real life is kinda sucky. I'm winging it on Diet Coke right now.
Julie, how much are you paying for each kid? please list each kid's name next to what you'd pay me to take them. i'll consider it. wow. good luck with them. the screen won't cost much but the carpet and laptop hmmm....
We have a screen that looks very similar to your boys.' I have an ongoing internal debate....do we replace it now and risk a repeat offense or do we do what my mom did.... when I set a small fire in my bedroom, melting part of my lampshade, blacking the carpet where the brown bag for trash stood, and causing the paint on one side of my desk to bubble, MY MOM left all as was (granted my destruction wasn't viewable from the street) so I could have a constant reminder not to play with lighters and such.
Oh, the joys!
You know, I was actually in the market for some new children, so I perused your ad to see if I was interested. Unfortunately, I've become less and less interested in your "wares" the more I read. Your children sound like they are not in good working order, and may, in fact, be broken. There may be those out there who are looking specifically for fixer-uppers because they have the time and expertise to make the needed repairs, but I do not have either of these things. I can only assume that your children are in this poor condition because they have not been properly taken care of. When's the last time they've had a tune-up?
Holy cow. Ooooh my holy cow. Why must they punish us when we want to go out on a date? WHY? WHY?
I am (yet again) amazed at how calmly you recount all these things. The water on the laptop alone would be enough for me to march out and buy 5 straitjackets -- just for the week, you understand. Not a PERMANENT thing...
You know your comment about BYU? About setting your kids up for heart-breaking disappointment? I had the very same thought this trip. For years I've put forth BYU as the ONLY place to go to college...and what if BYU doesn't take them (or all of them)? That's going to be ugly. I'll just chalk that up to one more way that I've ruined my children's lives. The list, at this point, is becoming lengthy.
Maybe we could just swap some for a while. Does the idea of four girls scare you? How do your kids react when you say, "Kansas?" Eh, not to worry...if they get too pesky, I can always send them to Adrienne's because when you are 8 months preggo, that's what you'd want.
ps. Loved this post. Sorry it was so crazy.
My heart goes to you, honestly. I thought I was feeling a bit like selling my children -- or dropping them off at Ann's and never coming back -- when I found them eating an entire box (from Costco) of Nut Roll candy bars. I'm worried what that means for the toilet later on, frankly.
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