(Well I heard she's even older than that!)On Sunday in Sharing Time, I got called up to receive my birthday regaling--namely it's your birthday so we will now single you out and torment you with song.
You may not be aware, but Happy Birthday To You is the longest song in the history of everything, and on Sunday I think we sang all twelve verses. At least that is the impression I got.
(Earlier that day in Class, I asked Miss M and Miss A how old they thought I was. Miss A just giggled (typical) but Miss M thought and thought (scrunching up her nose in the cutest way while thinking) and announced, "You are TWENTY!" I laughed and said that was a rather brilliant guess, but really I'm turning 38. "I'm even older than your mom." Of course, them thar were fightin' words, because Miss M rose up brimming with indignation and informed me "MY mom is OLDER than YOU!" Oh Miss M, you are a treasure. (But really, I am a whole year older than Jenn.)
So in honor of the fact that I am older than all of you who read this blog, here are some words of wisdom I have gleaned throughout my long, long life. Because I would like nothing more for my birthday than to know others have had the benefit of my tutelage:
You don't have to wear pantyhose. You really don't. Just wear a long skirt or tall boots.
Sucking it in can only do so much.
Just grin whenever possible. Smile a big ol' smile and your face will literally break into a million pieces. Think Cameron Diaz.
Surround yourself with children. Take them to WalMart. Walk past innocent ugly people and cringe as your 3 year old says "THAT IS A BAD-GUY!" really really loudly while pointing, over and over again until he is acknowledged. (Okay, so this isn't exactly advice, just something that happened to me yesterday that I wanted to share with the class. It's my birthday, I'll tangent if I want to.)
Never agree to watch another person's teenager for 10 days straight.
Don't get too possessive of your metabolism. That thing will tank before you know it.
Marry a guy nearly 6 years older than you. You'll always feel young.
3 comments:
Wow. I am so relieved that YOU are OLDER than me...by an entire month and a half. Because I have older children (by virtue of having my children when I was still a child) I'm always amazed by the ages of people in my ward. Women will make comments about how they are younger...because their kids are younger...and when I ask how old they are...they are typically older than me. And then I just laugh and laugh and laugh. And then I laugh some more when I leave my younger kids home with my very own live-in babysitters. On second thought...being old is good.
The end.
Good words of wisdom and tangents. Thank you. And Happy Birthday :) (from someone who is turning 39 in 19 days, and as chorister in Primary, not sure what I will do about that little problem)!!
Sarah--I KNEW you were younger than me. That month and a 1/2 totally comes through in your bloggings. Spring Chicken BWAAK BWAAK!
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