When the twins were tiny, and I had every reason to look tired, I got a lot of these "helpful" comments. Mostly at Church, (the only time the whole week I was showered, had my hair done, my teeth brushed and was dressed in something that didn't smell like spoiled milk, all at the same time) and by people I knew. My visiting teacher back then seemed to purposely search me out each Sunday to tell me graphically how exhausted I looked. Seriously. Eventually I would see her down the hall, stalking towards me, and my baggy eyes and I would turn and run. What a new mom needs to hear is lies. LIE TO ME! Tell me I look great for only getting 4 interrupted hours of sleep a night for 8 weeks straight. Tell me I must be some sort of Super Mom. Breathlessly tell me you must know my secret to looking great in the face of utter chaos. Or just keep your mouth shut. That works too. (Sorry. This sounds accusatory, doesn't it? I mean THEM not YOU.)
Now that I no longer have little babies as an excuse, I REALLY don't want to hear how tired I look. Some people just weren't blessed in the "looking fresh and well-rested department". Some of us will have dark circles under our eyes no matter what we do. So yes, some days my face will look like an unmade bed. My eyes will be tired looking. But for Heaven's sake! Don't think I don't already know it! Recently I hit upon the perfect passive/aggressive solution to these unsolicited comments. I pretend I am being complimented! I look at the person and in my best "golly gee shucks" voice, I graciously say Thank You! And you too! Confused silence.
Okay, rant over. I'm feeling much better!
10 comments:
I've been blessed with the "tired" look genetically and have added to that our big crew, so I've got that look going on no matter what commercial grade concealer I use! I agree those comments are better left unspoken. I'd rather have a casserole brought to my door, any day!
Okay...I can match your pet peeve and raise you...I HATE it when I say to a friend I have to go to the dentist (or grocery store, or doctor, or what have you) and they say, "Oh, that sucks." or "That's bitter." What I really need are more "good for you's" and "keep on truckin's" than reminders that my life can be downright crappy in the trenches. I mean, if it's all about the attitude, why are people trying to bring me down?
I'm just sayin'
I'm convinced that people think it is socially acceptable. Sure, they'd never say "wow you look really bloated today" or "that pimple cream just isn't cutting it" or "sucks to be you, going to the dentist so you can have a healthy mouth! I'd much rather have pyorrhea!" No. They just think they are commiserating with you by mentioning how sorry they feel for you. People! They're the worst!
If it makes you feel any better, your picture that you have up top there never looks tired. It's perpetually fresh! You're welcome. I wish I could stay and chat more, but I need to go sprinkle sunshine on other peoples' days. (People that look much more tired than you ever could.)
Why thank you. And I need to go see about my baby. (He took his diaper off and I think he went and sprinkled sunshine on something.) And btw, that picture of me was totally photoshopped! I actually have a beard. And there is a real reason Kelly's family calls me Droolie...
a) I always think you look great
b) I'd still take "you look tired" over "you look great... for having had triplets" any day. I mean, come on. How can that ever be a compliment, considering that having multiples essentially ruins every part of your body? It's like saying, "Hey, I know you're in that whole-body-cast and everything, but you look great for having survived a plane crash!" Somehow it doesn't truly feel like a compliment.
I suppose we have always known that we are girls who require a full 9 hours of uninterrupted sleep to look bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. (And, no, that was not an eyebrow reference!) Unfortunately, I don't see our lifestyles cooperating with this need any time in the near future!
I just did the math and if I go to bed now with minimal bedtime prep (ie- floss, brush my teeth, skip the vitamins, take out contacts but don't really clean them and splash water on my face)... then I should be able to clock in 7 hours of (hopefully) uninterrupted sleep. Hope to talk to you tomorrow! Lots to catch up on! (besides sleep, that is.)
Do you know why I rarely comment on your blogs lately? Beacuse I'm laughing out loud! This post is hillarous.
Love the response. Genuine "You, too." Never would have thought of that, but I'm using it from now on!
Right after I had been through the trial of my life AKA Viviana...all the unknowns, the sleepless nights, the countless hours of crying, Driving RT 75 miles daily and then coming home to the chaos that IS five other kids in the middle of the summer all the while trying to heal from an emergency horrific C-section and pumping every 3 hours for a baby that I could not hold...all one of my 'friends' could ever say when she saw me was "you look so tired today." GEE, don't know why...some people!!! Apparently, that look is reserved for mommas with oodles of children, thank you very much.
Had to let you know...I got a "You look so frazzled" Sunday and thought of you.
And I thought I looked pretty dolled up. Such is life.
Regardless of how I'm feeling, when I get that comment, I say, "Really, well I feel great!" Most the time the commenter backtracks or walks away in shame; either way I'm a little maliciously happy about it.
One time (around age 30) I got, "We have got to get you a facial. You look like a teenager!" I stood there dumbfounded for probably a full minute. Then I said, "That's the way to a hormonal pregnant lady's heart." It wasn't the best retort, but it worked. ;)
Post a Comment